Last weekend, I got out of Daegu and went to see a friend in Gunsan. I stayed on a base there and was reminded of all the little things I miss about the states. Little things like signs being in english, real showers with an actual shower curtain, and food you can get delivered. Didn't really see a lot of Gunsan, but it was definitely more rundown then Daegu. It was also very flat over in that area when compared with being where I live. I could almost look out to the horizon and not see mountains, almost, but not quite.
I dragged myself up early in the morning so I could catch the train into Seoul in time for my tattoo appointment. I made it there (only a little late) and took a look at the design. No, I am not going to show you guys yet. It is only half finished. I must say, when you walk in a room with three strange guys and they tell you to take off your top, many odd things run through your mind. They were all completely professional and very good at making sure it was all perfect before they started.
The tattoo process... I had forgot that pain. About halfway through I was seriously questioning the size of the tattoo I had chosen The thing about tattoos is that once that first line is drawn you can't really change your mind. Not that I had any desire to do so. Every time I stood up and looked in the mirror at the evolution of this tattoo, I got more and more excited. I also appreciated the chance to take a break from the pain. Overall, the pain wasn't too bad. There were certain spots that were insanely painful and I almost screamed, but I didn't, I held it in and made it through the four hours it took to finish the outline. It wasn't four hours of straight tattooing, there was a nice break in there when we ate dinner.
I had one of those surreal, mind-fucking moments, standing in the back room of a tattoo place in South Korea, topless, and eating dinner from popeyes. I was thinking about ten years earlier, in high school, when we would have those stupid questions to fill out about, "where do you see yourself in ten years?" and I can say with certainty that none of the above things were anywhere close to being on my list. Ten years ago, I wold probably have said that I picture myself as a veterinarian, with a job that I planned on staying at for more then a year, probably with my own house, a serious boyfriend (if not husband) and everything in my life worked out and lined up. Boy, does reality fuck with that image we create as teenagers of how we will be happy as adults.
It makes me think about the various articles, web clips, and other little articles out there about how my generation is becoming known as the lost generation. When I look around at many of the people my age, I can't say I disagree. Many of us went to college, got out, and then said, "wait.... I was promised a good job and future if I got a degree.... where is it?" The truth is, there aren't a lot of jobs out there for us. It has begun to improve, or so I am told, but many of my friends left college after four or five years with a degree, and went to work at places like Target, McDonalds, or other jobs they were already working in high school. The sadder part is that some of these people's supervisors are the same kids they went to school with, who never went to college and got the degree that was supposed to be this golden ticket, and they are better off then us crazy folk who spent years and thousands of dollars on a degree that means shit.
But I digress. I am sounding like I wish my life had gone the other way, that I had the job, the house, the man... And there is nothing I want less. I can't believe how amazing the adventure I am having is. I think that they need to start telling kids in high school about the other options in life. The high school, college, job for life route is a dying act. With so many options out there and a world that is changing faster then most of us can keep up with, it is time for the idea of a job to change as well. There is nothing wrong with not going for the house, car, permanent job route. And the things I would have missed out on if I had done that, I would be much less then I am today.
So, a month into my second year in Korea, after a year of ups and downs, a year of meeting people and missing people and loving people and hating people, a year of complete insanity.... I love it here, and hate it here and it changes on a daily basis, but that is life today, that is the mental state of my lost generation. Maybe we aren't a generation who is lost, maybe we are a generation who isn't satisfied with the everyday and the just okay life. We are a generation who is searching for that perfect life we were promised and we are willing to go further then ever to find it. It is my policy to never change a blog title after I write it in that little box, and it is always the frist thing I do, but I think maybe a better title for this blog would be "Lost? Or Just Unsatisfied?" But I didn't know that until I started writing.
